I’ve been feeling lethargic and just down in the dumps recently. School is boring and I feel like I could be doing so much better but I don’t feel the effort pouring out. I feel like that has been the case for so much. I know I’m not eating properly since I have lost weight. My grades aren’t looking to fine themselves but I know they will rise since I’ve been working pretty hard, sort of. It’s just this whole thing with my effort. I don’t have a goal set in life. I don’t like living in the future all the time. It makes me think of how depressing it is if I end up not following my path set out. The present seems so much easier to live in since there isn’t much to worry about. AWA and DragonCon are huge events that I want to attend but don’t quite know if I can. College this summer and fall are probably going to whoop my ass since I am on my own after this year. It’s just scary. I feel lost. I’m tired.
There is the cutest guy sitting in my living room right now (I think he’s sleeping overrr!) being tutored by my cousin. SO FREAKING CUTE. I want him in my bed >:\ like… NOW.
Ever get sick… and then look in the mirror and you see:
- puffy, watery eyes,
- dark rings under your eyes,
- breath smells,
- hair instantly becomes a bird’s nest,
I feel like SHIT and look like SHIT. GOD. DAMN. IT. Just one more class to go Etwardy. Just ONE MORE.
A recap of MLK day. I shopped for school. Met with an ex. Got punched on the side. The good side no less. Still in pain since 4pm (it is 11pm now) and ready for school tomorrow. College is so fun. Let’s see what we have in store for me tomorrow. And that was a recap. There was a longer, more lucid version but I thought there was no reason to post such a horribly long thing on everyone’s dash. I hate boys right now.
I’ve never felt so shy about reading a yaoi manga at all. Like. AT ALL. But for some reason, I was so embarrassed to read this one for some strange reason!
Ikenai Otoko btw.
GAH D; I feel so shyyyy.
It’s been a couple of days since my breakup with my awesome boyfriend. He was charming, a gentleman, mature, and especially open-minded. If anything, he was near perfect in my book.
I’d have to say the reason we broke up wasn’t because he was accepted into UCLA but that I didn’t think we could handle the long distance. I mean, it’s across the country. We were already far enough as it was, being a three-hour drive.
I don’t know why I’m even writing this. Maybe it’s because the break up is making me feel more worse than I thought it would. It’s slowly seeping into my system and making me feel like a complete piece of nothing. I miss him so much. I can’t even bare to look at the text messages he’s been sending me. From the good mornings to the goodbyes, I have to lay this one to rest. This has to be the worst break up I’ve had up to date…. I miss you Stephen.
I wanted to thank all my followers :D! and of course all the notes on one of my posts >w<! It finally reached over 100 and I now have 51 followers C: It makes me really happy since today was a real drag. I wish I had a scanner of some sort so I could share my happiness >w<!!
I LOVE YOU O.O!!
Never have I once listened to anyone who called me stupid until today. I just looked back on my history of relationships, school work, and many more events that seemed to prove how much of an idiot I am.
1. Repeatedly dated a guy that was no good for me and thought “oh! He’ll change for sure if I try my hardest to make him smile, laugh, and not be too clingy.” right. And that’s why he’s now married and I’m in a fix going nowhere. And here I am praying for his happiness. Yippee for me…
2. School. My parents have always compared me to how great my cousins were and how this guy named HXXG was excelling and how I was falling behind. Thanks mom. All those times I heard “why’re you so stupid!” really have taken their toll on me. If that wasn’t enough, my mom went as far as to asking me why I was born. Hurt and even though it was said out of anger, it wasn’t needed. AP scores as well. Fuck me. Fuck me. I was so devastated when I saw my scores. Two 1s and a 2. That’s just low. I’m pathetic.
3. Today. I took a driving test. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I practiced till I had blisters on my fingers. I’m a sad individual. I suck. I’m trying again. I’m gonna succeed. I won be called stupid again for something I tried so hard on.
Forget stupid. I’ll prove to them I can do more than just look smart. I’m worth more than that 6 lettered word!
I just love Denmark. And when paired with Norway I just die.
DenxNor <3 YES!
Then their is YAOI. It’s a drug. A drug with no way of rehabilitation. Ride Usagi-San’s Discostick Misaki Kun <3 - Junjou Romantica
Then there’s anime. School Rumble, Kimi Ni Todoke, Hanasaku Iroha, Junjou Romantica, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi … etc YES. BRING IT D:<
This has been the worst week of my life. I haven’t been able to keep my screws intact for too long due to the many people in my life. Not pushing blame on anyone. Too old to do that.
I have yet to hear news about his wedding and how it turned out. I just want to hear so I can close this door soon. Everything will be fine. All the things in the world will be different tomorrow morning. If not, I’ll just believe that it has.